Ohio Countdown 2004

2004 Presidential battleground analyzed by a grizzled campaign veteran and Ohio's Top Targeted Undecided Perfectly Predictive Swing Voter - His Mom.

7/12/2004

PD's Auster Loses Her Mind

Want to have your intelligence insulted? C'mon! It's fun! Read Elizabeth Auster's column in the Sunday PD, and you will literally feel yourself getting dumber by the second.

Ms. Auster...I'm trying not to laugh here...spent an entire column waxing philosophic about John Kerry's hair. The length of it. What it means about America's struggle to come to grips with 60's era war activism. How smart Kerry was to get it cut short....STOP ME! I CAN'T WRITE THIS ANYMORE!

Here...read it yourself. She's serious. This isn't some joke column...she really means to say that Kerry might have offended the bald vote by saying he and Edwards have better hair than Bush Cheney....FUCK! I DID IT AGAIN! STOP ME NOW!!!!

Read it and cringe. Profanity will result. I guarantee it.

I can't wait for the column lamenting the lack of focus on "real issues" in this campaign, how petty it's all become, and how Ms. Auster is so, so, offended by it, and how voters should pay more attention to columns like hers to inform themselves in such an important election season.

Hey Lizzy...we aren't watching a football game at your sister in law's house. You can't choose who you like based on the color of their uniforms, or the length of their hair. Get with the program, sweetheart.

3 Comments:

At 1:03 PM, Blogger Pearlhanna said...

My favorite line in that article is:

"...Kerry is running at a time when Americans are both weary and wary of war and terrorism...".

I wonder if she used the thesaurus in her word processing program. If I had a speech impediment, I too could be insulted with the "weary and wary of war" comment.

Pearlhanna

 
At 1:08 PM, Blogger Pearlhanna said...

My favorite line in that article is:

"...Kerry is running at a time when Americans are both weary and wary of war and terrorism...".

I wonder if she used the thesaurus in her word processing program. If I had a speech impediment, I too could be insulted with the "weary and wary of war" comment.

Pearlhanna

 
At 11:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, I wish I could get paid for spouting pretentious nonsense. I've been doing it all these years for free. :-)

 

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