Kucinich Finally Endorses Kerry - The Terms
OhioCountdown2004 has received exclusive access to the terms agreed between John Kerry and Dennis Kucinich. Dennis drove a hard bargain.
In exchange for the endorsement of Congressman Kucinich, who represents Cleveland's west side and western suburbs, and for the support of Kucinich's powerful block of 70 delegates, John Kerry agrees to the following -
1. In future comments, Kerry will not refer to Dennis as insane, unstable, megalomaniacal, bonkers, loopy, or confused in any way.
2. Kerry will avoid references to psychic seers, Shirley McLain, or the zen of trees, plants, rocks or other inanimate objects when referring to Kucinich.
3. Kucinich's endorsement does not apply to any past or future lives that he may or may not have lived or will live, either as a human being or other life force.
4. Kucinich is released of any obligation to stay pro-choice, which he has been for this entire presidential campaign, after having been pro-life for his entire political career. Use of the word "flip flop" or derivations thereof to refer to Kucinich's position on abortion, whatever that position may be in the future, is strictly prohibited.